- Car-jacking is unheard of up here--car thieves are kind enough here to steal my car while I am at work, and the police/train system are kind enough not to install any security apparati in the commuter train parking lots.
- I drove past the scene of a double murder the other day on the way to my ultimate frisbee league. Murder does not seem polite, but it was apparently a hitman killing two people, including another double-murderer. While it did leave an unsightly car akew on a small embankment between the McDonalds and the road, no bystanders were hurt. Such a considerate and accurate killer, apparently.
- There have been something like twenty, yes, twenty, firebombings of cafes in Montreal since last summer. This is apparently part of some competition between/within the mob--dueling protection rackets (not just a metaphor for rebel/government competition). I could be wrong, but few, if anyone, has been hurt despite the significant number of molotov cocktails flying about.
Accused: "If it would please the court, I would like to request an opportunity to act out"Criminals may be ugly (HT to Will Moore), but they seem to be quite polite here in Canada.
Judge: "What do you have in mind?"
Accused: "I would like to punch one of the kid's witnessing this hearing."
Judge: "Now now, perhaps later, let me consider that during the lunch break."
Accused: "Thank you, sir."
Obviously, I am making fun of some serious stuff, but is that a crime? Hmmm, Canadian laws on speech are a bit less free than the US. Never mind.
Update: My daughter came back and was not punched by an civil or not so civil alleged arsonist/murderers. However, she did report that most of the folks alleged to commit crimes do seem to have gel in their hair. This seems like a dangerous practice for an arsonist, but it might be their best effort to overcome the ugly problem cited above.