Of course, even if such information existed, this is not quite the October shocker that he would be hoping for because one of the powers of incumbency is to make far less relevant one's distant track-record. Draft-dodging and Vietnam protests mattered in 1992 for Clinton, but in 1996? Nope, it is the most recent four years that matter most for any incumbent running for re-election.
Still, given that Obama clearly is quite capable and probably did very well in college without much affirmative action along the way, what embarrassing information could we find on his college transcript?
- Obama took "Cultural Relevance of Star Trek". Oh, that was me. Never mind.
- Obama got a C in gym, as he was downgrading for only shooting 3 pointers?
- Obama took some courses in an area called "Liberal Arts." Really!? Gasp!
- Obama got an A in a class where they had to read Marx, thus proving that Obama is a Marxist.
- Obama got an A- in macroeconomics, proving that he actually does not know everything about the national economy.
- Obama did really well in Chemistry, so he might just be able to make meth.
- Obama aced a course on religion, which means that he might actually believe that there might be more than one way to worship.
- Obama learned French in college, making him likely to be a cheese-eating surrender monkey.
- Obama did well in Drama, which means that everything he says is a lie.
- That Obama traveled beyond the borders of the US so he is not entirely ignorant of the world around him? How embarrassing?
- That Obama visited France, making him more likely to be a cheese eating surrender monkey?
- That Obama visited a country where there are some Muslims, confirming his secret Muslim-ness?
- That Obama prefers Euro-Disney to the parks in the US, making him a traitor, violating the very fabric of Americana?
- That Obama has only been to Israel a few times, rather than visiting every year since that is where Mecca is (hey, The Donald is not a good geography student)?
- That Obama visited China so he must be the Manchurian candidate?
Of course, Stephen Colbert is on top of this (hee, hee):